2014

Been thinking a lot about the stuffs that I have done for the past 2 years, and felt like I have quite a huge amount of emotions going on in my brain right now.  And I know as the years pass, I will tend to forget about all the things that are going through my mind right now, so maybe I should, sort of like record it down, so that when I get older, looking back and reading through all these, I will probably laugh at how immature my thoughts were back then.

 

I feel like I am not ready to be a doctor yet.  I feel like I am still just a medical student (well I am, but I feel like over the past 2 years I am still at the same point as where I had started.) I compare myself to my peers, I give a lot of pressure to myself, I want to be better.  I want to be a more responsible, a calmer, a cooler and probably a smarter person.  I don't think I have reached that stage yet, and I feel so bad about it. 

 

I should probably write this down in somewhere more private rather than an open blog, but who cares no one is going to read it anyway. 

 

Back in Kluang, I thought I would be able to perform venepuncture like a boss, and it should have been an easy task for me.  But it was not, and honestly there are so many veins that I cannot feel at all, and I have to ask the sister to come and assist me for those.  And at some point of time I feel like I could have done better.

 

I thought I was going to be really calm while giving IM injection to the patient, but I actually snap the ampoule wrongly and cut my finger.  Of course, I asked someone else to carry out the injection instead.  And the bleeding just wouldn't stop (goddamn it) and my friends had to find a gauze and tape it around my finger.  I'm really grateful and thankful for them (and to be honest I really miss my group back in Kluang, they were the nicest people I can ever hope for during the 3 weeks posting), but at the same time I felt so bad about myself, like I could have been more chill, and maybe finish the whole procedure in a better (so much better) way.

 

There are so many other things that I don't even bother to list them out, not to mention that my clinical skills are actually very bad compared to my friends.  But I guess for now, all I can do is to try and do my best for my exams next week.  And I will put all my negative thoughts aside, until when I have the time to tackle them one by one.

 

Till then.

 

 

 

 

Words just can't describe how much I love these people.  If only Kluang posting could last longer.

Dilemma

This might be a really whiny post, so here’s a warning, bear with me or just close the tab.

So I was offered by both imu and unsw, which both sounds good and I can’t decide on which I should go to. And I made a list of why I should go to either one of it.

Why imu?
1. It’s in Malaysia, I don’t have to think about my accommodation, food and other living expenses.
2. The fees are cheaper.
3. I can twin to UK, which is my first choice and also sometimes my last choice.
4. Homesickness can be a big problem sometimes.
5. I have friends here. I’ll have to make new friends there.
6. It’s 5.5 years for imu twinning while unsw is 6 years.

Why unsw?
1. Advance tech.
2. I don’t have to go thru all the application process and other stuffs again.
3. It’s easier to get a job in Aus than in UK.
4. Diff exposure, I assume I’ll be a better doctor if I were to go there.

I do have my reason of not wanting to go UK, but that’s personal. And the fact that I’m spending more than my brother if I were to go unsw makes me feel guilty. Yet I know I’ll be wasting a goddamn opportunity if I were to reject unsw.

So, guilt or opportunity?

談感情

談感情
曲: 楊子樸 詞: 劉力揚

淩晨的睡意 被不安敲醒
安靜的城市 冷得很徹底
我想起你的話 你常說的字句
不被愛的疑慮 開始泛起漣漪

幾杯 紅酒也無法微醺
是否應該反省 試著看清 你的漫不經心

人說 談感情 先認真的就不會贏
我們愛上的那個總是會比較愛自己
為愛哭 為愛笑 卻找不到愛情難題的解藥
最後只能留下省略號

故事在繼續 寂寞常攪局
沒有結果的愛 想想有些掃興
誰的愛沒遺憾 沒有孤單作伴
怎樣才能交換 誰能給我答案

舉杯 讓憂傷被按暫停
是誰發來簡訊 也看不清 還要故作清醒

人說 談感情 先認真的就不會贏
我們愛上的那個總是會比較愛自己
為愛哭 為愛笑 卻逃不了愛情困擾的魔爪
最後只能留下省略號

累不累 什麼輸或贏 只要真心愛就好
別因為被傷 就將愛你的刺傷
錯的那麼囂張

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有好多的话想说，但都是多余的。我觉得这半年来，对于某些事情有了不同的观点与看法，但我始终还是我。我觉得如果你想起我时，是微笑的，那么我已经很满足了。‘奢望’永远都只是个附属品。

相信我的人不必我解释，不相信我的人我何必解释？

P.S.久违了，刘力扬 :)

Thai

Never thought I’d be like a photography maniac, in the streets of Thailand, (cause I’m quite afraid of my camera’s safety.)

A whole pile of prawns, how can you resist not taking photo of this? :D

Dad took another way back to KL, just to let us look at the beautiful scenery :)

It’s been so long, I’m starting to think they don’t want to offer me the place :/ Maybe people like me should just stay in Malaysia and finish the course locally. Maybe I just don’t deserve to go overseas.

或许如果人的期望没有这么高，就不会有太大的失望。

I have been lazy

Working has been draining all my energy that I am always too tired to blog anything and I just feel like crashing on my bed everyday I reach home. And that’s basically what I do the moment I opened my bedroom door, don’t even bother to change my jeans (I do like to sleep wearing jeans.)

So can I just blame it on the work that I’ve not been updating regularly. Anyway, I went Thailand last week and it was quite fun, except that I hate (Yes I am using ‘HATE’) the little cousin who is so impolite and seriously a pain in the ass. Not gonna talk about her here but if you do want to know what happen I can tell you. At some point I do feel like slapping her, literally. It’s not what she did to me that annoys me, it’s what she did to her mum and the stuffs that came out from her young mouth.

Don’t pamper your child.
GIVE THEM A SLAP ONCE IN A WHILE WHEN THEY CROSS THE LINE, OR SOMEONE ELSE WILL.
And I mean it.

Moving on, I went to the Fruit Orchard Agriculture Heritage Park at Putrajaya today with a bunch of kiddos, which was quite fun because they don’t call me korkor anymore YAY. There are lots of different types of fruits there, some of which you can pluck and eat straightaway. Will update on that real soon.

After the park, we went to the Natural History Museum which is 10mins away from the park. The museum is so boring as they only have mammals in it, and the most interesting part in it is the Bryde Whale skeleton at the entrance. In just 5mins, I have finished walking around the museum. And no, I’m not exaggerating. I wonder how a museum like this can ever survive.

I’m going to the same places again tomorrow sigh. Thanks to my job I’m so tired and sleepy everyday (I’m bored!). So, goodnight everyone :)

P.S. Some 11 y/o saw a huge ass jackfruit on the tree and shouted, “Teacher, there’s a big DURIAN!”
And a 6 y/o shouted MANGO when he saw coconuts. Seriously kids nowadays == (I have a great time LMAO)

Kids

Thanks to the kindergarten I’ve been working at for the past 3 months I get to watch 5 days of kids concert, and seriously, the first day you will be like WOW the songs are nice, but after listening to the same songs for 5 days will actually kill you. Plus they have been playing the songs since morning as they have their last rehearsal in the morning, you’ll really appreciate it when you get to put on your headphones and listen to some other songs. Thanks Steve again for this awesome creation.

Anyway, I was too lazy to bring my camera for the 5 days. YES, I am lazy for 5 days. Sides, they have those ‘professional’ photographers with lots of lens and high tech flash, I might as well not make a fun of myself by bringing some cheap ones right? Since according to one of them, if I were that into photography, I should go for canon 7D and above instead of 550D. Fine then.

This is during the first rehearsal on Sunday. This part was the opening, where the kids line up and walked in (during rehearsal).

There’s something that I really love about this picture, but I can’t explain why.

The kid in the middle is so CUTE :D

That’s all for the kids part. The 5 days were actually nice, and I somehow start to love the kids. They are so cheerful and active, yeah with them running around, shouting and laughing loudly is quite annoying at times, but it’s something that we don’t have now. Which is kinda sad.

Jog For Hope '11

Harry Potter cup from Movie World, Gold Coast, Australia when the first Harry Potter movie was released - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. This has nothing to do with JFH, just a random shot.

Went for the 10km category for Jog For Hope this morning. Woke up quite late even tho I slept at 11.30pm yesterday lol, was too tired already D:

When I reached college the race was about to start, so I ran inside to the registration place, filled in my details and CIRCLED 10km. Then the girl said, “RM20 please.” I was kinda confused cause I thought 10km was RM30, so I asked her again, “I’m going for the 10km, are you sure?” She said RM20 again. But when I got out to get my number, I realized my colour wasn’t same as Yengying and Farm’s.

Apparently RM20 is for the 6km category, so I went back in to change the number n all. I was so damn scared that the race started off early and I was still at the registration booth. Seriously, stupid you don’t just assume every college student’s going for the 6km just because I look like a college student. And I didn’t get the shirt too cause I was too late and the shirts are limited. They should change this system, people will be damn disappointed for not getting the shirt ok.

Stuffs I got from the goodies bag.

Didn’t get any picture with them after the run, cause everyone went back early DAMN.

Anyway, I’m packing my stuffs now for my trip to Pangkor island tomorrow :) Gonna have fun with Yengying, Nicole, Raymond, Richard, Ming and Andrew.

It’s a 3 days 2 nights trip with the awesome bunch. So don’t miss me if you don’t see me active on msn or facebook. Find me on my twitter, I’ll be updating on stuffs every hour :D And of course, not when I’m sleeping. Gonna party till late night WOOH!

Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries :)

Many hate him in TVD simply because he’s such an asshole and idiot in it. But that’s cause he has his own definition of love. He loves Elena in the way he thinks it’s love. It’s distorted, yet how do we define love?

It’s nothing about how most think about it. It’s how YOU yourself want it to be.

我觉得,

喜欢一个人不是看他帅不帅或美不美, 那些都不重要。

即使他不符合你择偶条件上的任何一项, 但喜欢了就是喜欢了。

.

我不否定任何爱情观, 因为这本来就是两个人的事情。

不容许他人插手, 更不容许有第三者。

.

.

我相信日久生情,

更相信一见钟情。