I love you, grandma

I haven't really written much for quite a while, I used to be able to transform my thoughts into words to record the days in my life that is worth remembering.  Well, I put it down to being busy with never-ending assignments and essays, but maybe I was just really tired to think about anything else other than the piling workload.

Not today.

I saw a patient who was diagnosed with an aggressive thyroid cancer and given her age, the management plan was palliative radiotherapy because the cancer has invaded her recurrent laryngeal nerve.  Even though her voice is affected, she was still a cheerful lady, showering us with lots of encouragement and big smiles when we came over to talk to her.

She reminded me of my dear grandma, who is always so happy to see me, so supportive of my decisions, so proud of me for who I am right now.  After I first told her that I was going to study medicine, her first question whenever we meet had always been "When are you going to graduate?  I am waiting for you to come back and be my doctor."  But the last time when I saw her, before leaving, she held my hand and asked, "When are you going to graduate?  I am afraid that I can't wait for you to come back."

It scared me.  A lot.

I am afraid that that will be her final goodbye to me.
I am afraid that I won't be able to meet her for one last time.
I am afraid that I do not have the chance to tell her how much I love her.

I want you to witness my graduation and be proud of me.
I want you to be strong, healthy and to be there for me when I return.
I want you to welcome me with your arms wide, to hug me tight and not let go.

I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up, and we're wrapped in light, in life, in love. - Afire love, by Ed Sheeran

I love you, grandma, to the moon and back.

布赖顿的秋天

不知怎么的，最近又喜欢上用华文抒发一下自己的情绪，或许是因为写论文是用英文，写到快发疯了，就想来这里逃避现实，顺便看下相机里的照片。

x

四季里，最喜欢秋天。原因或许是因为秋天有种凄美的感觉，落叶铺满的道路踩在脚下挺舒服的。而夕阳映在落叶上所反射的橘色，是我本身认为非常唯美的景色，自己之所以会踏上这个‘使用专业数码相机摄影’的不归路（这是个多么昂贵的爱好）或多或少就是因为被网路上夕阳的照片所吸引。

布赖顿，秋天。Brighton, Autumn.








Till then.

伦敦的日与夜

Been having some major writer's block for a couple of  days, so I am just gonna edit some pending photos and take a break from my IRP.  Honestly though, this year has passed by so quickly and it is April already without me realising.  Talking about this, I am gonna turn 24  in a month's time, yet I am still struggling with my coursework in university while most of my friends have been working for a few years already.  I know I have repeatedly mentioned this a lot of times, and I thought I am going to get over it, but it still sucks.

Oh well, at least I am graduating next year, so that is a year to look forward to, and also I will be turning 25 next year, which means I will be 5 years away from hitting 30s.  Hopefully by then, I will be a registrar in the surgical field.

So, photos.  I took quite a bit of photos when my brother's gf came over last year, and I really do not have time to look thru them at one go, so I just go thru a few of them once in a while.  This is not ideal, because the way I edit photos go according to my mood on that day, and because of this I have photos of various editing style, and sometimes I would look back at those photos that I had edited earlier and wonder what was I thinking that time.

Anyway, this is the famous Buckingham palace.  We waited half an hour for the guards to change over, but due to weather conditions, they only performed a simple march.



And ofc, the beautiful London eye at night.



这几天都觉得好累，心里多么的希望可以任性的买张机票，不顾一切的立刻离开逃回家。

妄想。

x

Till then.

張懸 關於我愛你

作词：焦安溥
作曲：焦安溥

你眷恋的 都已离去
你问过自己无数次、想放弃的
眼前全在这里
超脱和追求时常是混在一起

你拥抱的 并不总是也拥抱你
而我想说的 谁也不可惜
去挥霍和珍惜是同一件事情

我所有的何妨 何必 何其荣幸

在必须发现我们终将一无所有前
至少你可以说 我懂 活着的最寂寞
我拥有的都是侥幸啊
我失去的，都是人生
当你不遗忘也不想曾经
我爱你

在必须感觉我们终将一无所有前
你做的让你可以说 是的 我有见过我的梦
我拥有的都是侥幸啊
我失去的，都是人生
因为你担心的是你自己
我爱你

x

总觉得能够听到張懸的歌声是一种福气。
每天从医院回来的时候都是累得不想再动，唯一的解药是听听她的歌或苏打绿的歌让自己振作起来，去念书、写论文。

谢谢你，让我在这冰冷的城市感受到一些温暖。

St Paul's Cathedral

A shot of the famous St. Paul's cathedral when I was in London with my brother and his gf.  Missing those carefree days, traveling and exploring new places of the city.  Mainly for the food tho.

Till then.